just for the record, witchcraft scares me. and i am not a sociopath or similar.
but we all had at one moment in life, that person that was making us feel bad.
‘i don’t know what to do with him’, i said to D. i was expecting her to get rid of him, somehow.
‘freeze it’, she told me.
turned out to be the best advice i ever had.
and it came in my end year review performance meeting.
sometimes life is hilarious.
she explained me the process.
‘write the name in a small piece of paper. put it in the ice bucket in the freezer. you will see’.
so I did.
wrote his name on a tiny paper. put it in the ice bucket. inside the freezer.
3 months later, he left the company.
how could i never heard about this before? I would have avoid so much pain!
I AM GOING TO FREEZE THEM ALL, haha, I thought.
she read my mind. she knew about my impulsivity. ‘take it easy’, she said. ‘you must have very good reasons’
I did it a couple more times. always efficient. the next time, the girl got pregnant. the next one, i got promoted changing my job.
3 times in 9 years.
quite reasonable for a non reasonable person.
and at some point i got lucky because I didn’t need it anymore. i tried to be mature and this kind of stuff. not letting others people shit affect me. because when you grow up you should know how to deal with things. easier said than done, i know.
the only awkward part of this was when I was doing a party at my place in Paris.
we run out of ice.
so somebody was opening the last freezer drawer. the one where all my lifetime nemesis were ice trapped.
I didn’t dare to stop them. I was so embarrassed.
and they were drunk.
didn’t want to have the conversation about why I have people trapped in ice.
before I realised, the ice cubes were in their glasses. with gin and tonic.
they started melting. because only in Spain we know how to do big square fat ice cubes. ice culture outside spain is terrible. and we were in Paris at that moment.
‘WTF IS THIS?’, they yelled. WHY DO I HAVE A PAPER IN MY GLASS?
so I had to explain.
I guess they always knew that sometimes something is not completely ok in my brain.
i get systematically lost. i don’t understand logic. i can’t tell where north or south is.
i thought the eurostar train connecting Paris London was going into a glass tunnel.
and i spent couple hours thinking in how they do to maintain the windows clean under the water to be able to see the marine fauna.
that’s how my brain works.
so I explain myself. I could see in their eyes a mix of stupefaction and admiration.
they ended up laughing a lot.
they all freeze people now.