‘being alone is hard. being alone in the other side of the world far from everyone i know, even more’, Z. said.
‘i guess there’s a turning point when you stop saying ‘everything it’s fine, job is good, my neighbourhood is cool’. and you just say ‘it’s very hard’, i answered her.
in theory there’s no reason to complain. you asked for a change. you wanted it. and you got it.
and now you have to deal with the consequences of dreaming big.
the week after i had lunch with S. and M. ‘i have been living in paris for 6 years now, but something is still missing’, S. said. ‘i miss the emotional closeness of Colombians. i miss the spontaneity of meeting up without the need of putting it in a calendar’.
made me think about this article of the catch-up culture. we don’t experience life together anymore. we just tell each other our lives.
i wrote about this a time ago, about the free-flowing togetherness.
all these spontaneous hung outs where we don’t do anything specific. we just hung out and we are generous with our time.
it brings me back to adolescence. having merienda at a friend’s place.
we knocked in the door asking for our friend. ‘is Rebeca home?’, and that was it.
now we chat to AI, to have advice or to tell our life. could be addictive, because AI validates our opinions.
AI is bonding with us because it’s trained to sound intimate. ‘chatGTP really gets me’, i heard the other day in a cafe.
it feels like prompt after prompt, human interaction is getting smaller and rare.
sometimes i would like to press pause. step back. and unsubscribe from this new season of life.
i took a nap instead.
this is what i do when i don’t know how to deal with my life. if the world is going to end, at least i will have a rested face.
‘let’s go for apero at Les Oeilletes’, B. texted me. ‘great, but i need a nap first’, i answered.
most of the times i always make it on time. and i feel SO energised. ready to talk to friends, strangers and even flirt with the waiter.
but sometimes, my body knows better, and I have to ask for a rain check. ‘sorry i am still tired, i won’t make it tonight’, i texted.
‘you are a spanish cliche’, somebody once told me.
maybe, i thought. but i also believe my naps are pretty revolutionary.
when i nap, i don’t scroll, i don’t buy, i don’t like, save or regram.
‘are you becoming anti-system?’, C. asked me.
maybe, i thought.
i mean, is not that hard to feel anti-system nowadays.
maybe the system is not working when we are letting people starve. maybe the system is fucked when healthcare is a privilege and not a right. maybe the system is hopeless when the 1% is raping, killing and eating other humans in an unpunished way.
maybe love has vanished from our lives. or maybe these freaks are manipulating us to hate each other instead of hating them.
scroll, brainrot, personal boundaries… we are isolating ourselves. and there’s a high success rate of becoming a bunch of hate.
i feel life is what happens meanwhile we open insta and we got a big close-up of somebody’s boobs – most of the times Sydney Sweeney ones-, a carrousel of Jeffrey Epstein files telling us about how rich white men are pedofiles, a meme of a cat, hundreds of fit routines and the power of niacinamide, salicylic and glycolic acid mixed with some updates of the Palestinian genocide.
‘i am arriving to Paris and will stay for a week’, a friend texted me. i didn’t answer. i was hurt.
after all, i need to set boundaries, i told myself.
it’s not ok when you give-give-give but you don’t receive. when you are the one always reaching out. so you distance yourself.
but i don’t know if what we call a boundary is just a way to avoid difficult conversations or accountability. or not giving a chance to the other one to tell their side of the story.
instead, we chat to AI telling how bad our friend is and AI will tell us we are always right.
i don’t know. maybe we have moved from ignoring mental health to talk too much about it. from being emotionally ignorants to be emotionally savvy.
maybe we need to stop overthinking it. maybe we need to call more our friend when we are passing by her street to say ‘hey, are you home, i am around’, instead of waiting two months until the next catch-up.
maybe we have to buy two tix for the gig and offer it to someone in a spontaneous way.
maybe is ok if we don’t have a flat lower ab because instead we are sharing a Mont d’or with bread.
maybe we need to disagree more with our friends to understand that this is what real life is about. ‘absolutely’, ‘of course’, ‘you are right’ and ‘couldn’t agree more’ is AI pretending understanding us.
i spent NYE in Melbs. i was missing so much my friends.
beach, hikes, board games, festivals. it’s always the same pattern. generosity.
somebody offering to drive 2 hours to spend a day in the seaside. another one organising friendsxmas at their place. the barbecue and drinks before NYE. me contributing by putting grapes in dog poo bags to have an epic 2026 start.
it’s about the group. it’s about the togetherness. it’s about being there. being generous with our time. being available for the people that is taking care of us.
i came back from melbs full of love. and maybe love is what we need to inject more in our day to day without overthinking everything too much.