‘you are like in a big brother show’, P. told me. she is pretty right.
all is new. the people. the places. the situations you live. the job. the culture.
feels like somebody threw me in this gigantic island. and I have to figure it out this thing called life.
it’s very intense.
think about it. every single interaction I have is with people I never met before.
what I call friends now, is people I met 5 months ago in the best case.
and with the ones that you manage to break the glass, relationships grow very fast.
which is very weird because you find yourself telling stuff you normally hide.
I think I haven’t managed to be 100% myself since I arrived.
you are more insecure.
because you want to like. and to be integrated.
and you never know if funny is funny enough or deep is deep enough.
and it’s sad.
because you are too old to feel like that.
and it’s exhausting.
because socialising drains you.
my weekends are like F1 laps. in repeat and full speed.
where are you from. what do you for work.
where do you live. with which visa have you come in.
an in – repeat – never – ending – loop.
and dont take me wrong. I am extremely grateful for complaining about having too much social life. and not complaining about dying of boredom because I dont know anyone.
and it’s disturbing.
because I am confronted to the same question I dont manage to respond. why Australia?
and it’s exciting.
because not knowing makes you give up control. and doing so, you grow.
and it’s encouraging.
because sometimes the best things in life are the ones you dont plan too much.
because it was the moment to close a door to open a new one. wherever this door was.
because maybe I am too curious to stay too much time in the same place, knowing there is so much out there.
because maybe I needed to go SO far away to understand that what I really need is going back.
looking for a last paragraph to finish this article, my Spotify is playing Everything is Everything by Ms. Lauryn Hill.
‘everything is everything
what is meant to be, will be
after winter, must come spring
change, it comes eventually
everything is everything
what is meant to be, will be.’
that’s it.
new everything. new me.