have you spread your mind before your legs?, i asked F.
‘i dont know what you mean’, she answered. me neither, to be honest.
‘i am confused thinking about the amount of times it was easier for me to spread my legs than my mind to connect with someone’, i finally managed to express myself.
‘most of the people i had random sex with i would not even get a coffee with them. i can’t, it’s a loss of time’, E. said.
‘but how can you know it will be a lose of time if you haven’t talked to them’, i asked.
‘i just know’, she concluded.
it’s true then, legs open faster than minds, i thought.
‘in my case, you meet somebody once, you see the face they chose they want you to see, you have some drinks, reality starts to be blurry and you create a story about this person, or sometimes you just feel alone… then you wake up the next next day and there’s zero connection, you want to leave his place and you’d wished to be a bad dream’, S. said.
made me think about how ok we are to give head to someone but we could never introduce them to our friends.
‘the only times this happened to me is me being very drunk and the guy being very hot’, M. said.
‘i read this thing about how chakras regenerate every 7 years. so it means that the sexual energy of the random guy of that tequila night stays with you for 7 years’, Z. said.
how much random energy there’s inside us then? i should call my energy healer asap, btw.
‘i know it’s not ok to sleep all the time with strangers, but sometimes it’s important to feel desirable’, J. said.
‘i agree, F. said. i dont know what’s happening with my libido. i am not looking for hooks up anymore. i am just ok with dancing and getting a bit high for once in a while. but i miss the male gaze’
sometimes i dont know if we are lying to ourselves saying we can have random sex as a way of physical liberation, a way to have fun when what we are craving is to feel desirable and seen.
‘maybe there are other ways to feel seen’, A. told me. ‘Charlotte and Harry has always been my fav couple of sex and the city’, he concluded.
‘when i met D. i was not attracted to her. we have been together for 15 years now’, L. said. ‘things change, i changed, she changed’, he concluded.
if that’s the case, it means that we could potentially feel attracted to almost anybody?
‘i met someone this summer’, C. said. ‘i know him for more than 20 years but it never crossed my mind to share any kind of intimacy with him. however, attraction built up little by little, and attraction is here… but i am a bit destabilised. not just because i’m attracted to someone who was never on my radar, but the emotional intimacy we are having it’s a new in my life’, she concluded.
what’s the deal then to all the ‘not my type’ dudes we slept with but couldn’t have coffee with.
maybe we could replace the walks of shame for the mind-fucked nights, where our mind opens quite a lot and maybe our legs will follow… or not.